Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Time To Barack Out With Your Cock Out

What appeared to be the greatest day of everyone's lives (except mine) is finally over. Barack Obama is officially the President of the United States. In case you missed the exciting, action-packed, long, drawn out coverage, here is the HG Halftime Report recap:

1.) The Chief Justice absolutely butchered the oath. (Blatant sabotage? I think so.) You've got one job. How do you mess that up?
2.) Obama definitely "threw some D's on it". Caddy One has been appropriately nicknamed "The Beast"
3.) 27,500 screen-printed Hanes Beefy T's featuring Martin Luther King and Barack Obama's faces were sold along Pennsylvania Avenue. Prices ranged from $20 per t-shirt to "I don't have $20 on me, how 'bout $10?"
4.) Senator Ted Kennedy had a seizure at the luncheon. That's not a joke. He really did.
5.) George W. Bush was sent off with respect: The one finger salute and "Nah, nah, nah, nah, hey heyy goodbye." Grow up people.
6.) Numerous references were made to "Hope" and "Change". Or maybe I just heard D.C.'s street bums hoping for change. Either way, these two words are way too played out.
7.) The stock-market took a 332 point nose-dive during the ceremony. The ball's in your court now, B-Rock
8.) Total expenses for the inauguration are estimated to be around $150 million. Obama was seen pouring Cristal out for the economy while bumping Young Jeezy's "My President Is Black" through the 24 karat gold amplifiers.
9.) Nick Cannon DJ'd the Neighborhood Ball. The Red Team took the belt after Joe Biden rap battled Mikey Day in the final Wild Style
10.) Yes we can! Yes we can! I still don't know what this means but it's very motivating.

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