Thursday, January 1, 2009

Charles Barkley Drives Drunk, Likes Blowjobs.

"She did this thing with her tongue..."

Charles Barkley was arrested for being wealthy and not hiring a driver or calling a cab early Wednesday morning in Scottsdale. According to police, Barkley ran a stop sign at approximately 1:30 am. Now, this is where I would normally insert a joke and/or racy comment regarding the story. But this time around the story is just too funny on it's own. It's not that he was arrested but what Sir Charles said to the police. Most people would go with "I had a glass of wine with dinner" or "I just live down the street" but no, not Barkley. Barkley went with... are you ready?... "I was gonna drive around the corner and get a blowjob." Seriously? I know you're loved for telling it like it is but c'mon Charles.

According to the officer who wrote the report, "He told me that he ran the stop sign because he was in a hurry to pick up the girl I saw get in the passenger seat." The officer continues: "He asked me to admit that she was 'hot.' He asked me, 'You want the truth?' When I told him I did he said, 'I was gonna drive around the corner and get a blowjob. He then explained that she had given him a blowjob one week earlier and said it was the best one he had ever had in his life."

The report says when Barkley was taken to the station, he told one of the employees, "I'll tattoo my name on your ass" if he helped "get him out of the DUI." According to the report, "He laughed and then quickly corrected himself and said, 'I'll tattoo your name on my ass' and then laughed again." (via TMZ.com)

The Smoking Gun has the entire scan of the three page police report and the sweet mugshot.

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